wait till spring

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#bigsean

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All organic burger… Yum :) #ponoburger #santamonica #organic #supportyourlocalfarmers

All organic burger… Yum :) #ponoburger #santamonica #organic #supportyourlocalfarmers

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Happiness doesn’t sell

If anyone had ever told me what true happiness felt like, I think I would of stopped being miserable a long time ago.

But misery is so engrained in our skin, our soul, our hearts, that it makes it so difficult to change. It become our norm, our expectancy of life.

Everyday that I wake up next to him, is like the first time.

I don’t know what love is, but i have a feeling this is it.

He wont let me plan a wedding, so for now, i”ll just pin it on pinterest ;)

Filed under love happy

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"A lot of people have this problem, and maybe you are one of them. Many people tend to look at the past, instead of looking towards the future."

I am not one of those people that say, ” I have no regrets”, or ” I am a better person for it”. Even though undoubtedly, I AM a better person for the things I’ve experienced, I still think I could of done with out.  

I do have regrets & that is probably the most difficult realization a person could make in their life. Knowing that one decision, IS what could of made a difference. 

I have with out a doubt, A GOOD LIFE. I won’t negate all the good things that have happened to me, or all the wonderful people I have met. I do feel though, at times, that I am missing something. I don’t know what that is… and that is exactly what troubles me the most. I am not searching for a problem, or aching for pain. I am simply missing something. And I think that maybe I need to reassure myself that I have made ALL the right choices. 

I have a man, that makes me so incredibly happy. A happiness that I have never ever felt before. And an incredible amount of  love and support from my family and friends, that cannot be denied.

What ever that is, this “thing” that I am missing. Today, I chose to move forward. Today I chose to never have “it” in my mind again. Today I will assume that all the happiness in my life, is because I am missing that “thing”. 

Filed under life love happiness

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I told Rafa I didn’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, (which I totally meant by the way).. but he still got me flowers … My favorite. He should just put a ring on it though.

I told Rafa I didn’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, (which I totally meant by the way).. but he still got me flowers … My favorite. He should just put a ring on it though.

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I don’t need to be fixed, and I certainly don’t need to be found. 

I’m not lost. 

Story of my freaking life. 



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Don’t let your fear defeat you.
Much love to my prof Tony Cox, who believes in me even when I don’t.

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A person who longs to leave the place where he lives is an unhappy person.

- Milan Kundera 

And if you leave, will you finally be happy then? And then what happens in 3 years?

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Happiness is Not Overrated

Nightmares are a foreshadowing of the future. 

Sometimes they are just a nightmare. 

A lot of times, they are a woman’s intuitions. 

I don’t think I have ever been so happy with anyone, it makes me sick.

I know everybody believes that their better half is their best friend. But in my case, he is truly my best friend. And i know, i know…its super cliche, but I do feel like he understand me better than anybody else in my life.  And i know this mostly when he kisses me and tells me how beautiful I am. Or when i sit there and show him all the songs that make my heart hurt, and he sits there and listens to them all with me. Or that I can sleep next to him every night, and never miss my own bed. Or the fact that I’ve been my worst in front of him, and  yet he has brought out the best in me. 

I don’t want to jinx any part of this by writing about it. But it feels so wrong not writing about something that makes me so happy. 

So cheers!! I never in a million years thought i’d be so smitten with the man, who has slept in my bed for nearly 3 years and never made a move on me. Talk about messing up my plans. haha

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I love the first time we went surfing together. How when I finally made it past the waves you were there waiting for me. Laughing but waiting. You said that you have never felt more at peace in your life, and how insignificant everything else felt. We sat there, and we took it all in the beauty of it, we took in how incredibly huge the ocean is. I remember sitting there looking at your beautiful face and there you were with your mean looking jaw, with that mean face of yours that just screams “I hate this world!” and you looked and me and told me how beautiful i was. I still know and recognize that look regardless of whether you tell me or not.